~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


UNIVERSAL BIRTH CERTIFICATE

Well, it�fs official. Astronomers have calculated to within an error of plus-minus 1% that the age of the universe is 13.7 cycles of the Jade Wheel, that the first stars lit up just 200 breaths of the Ruby Elephant after the cosmos was born from the eye of the Amber Carp, and that it will expand unhindered upon the back of the Golden Turtle, thinning and cooling until it eventually reaches nothingness at the Moonstone Gate of the Emerald Dragon.