AM I OR AM I NOT

The monkeys have been by, I noticed this morning, and bitten a few of my green tomatoes to check their progress since the last visit, see if the luscious goodies are nearing readiness for the big tomato fest the hairy marauders have planned, biting the greenies only lightly so as not to cause them to spoil before the big day, since the poor simians have put so much effort into coming back here again and again to check their tomatoes and it would be a shame if they went bad after all that buildup, to say nothing of some serious faceloss, tribewise.

In this picture I of course am their nemesis, implausibly claiming the tomatoes as my own, but planning my red pepper retort when the time is right. Having monkeys as adversaries is oddly invigorating to my primitive nature. Quotidian struggles on the train or with bureaucrats or other nefarious humans do not reach those protean deeps in the human soul, as does contesting with our ancient amoral relatives for the wherewithal of existence.

I have looked into human eyes, such as those of my drill sergeant in boot camp, and seen mercy long absent there, but to look into eyes where mercy has never been is to gaze into the dark whence we have arisen, that appears also to be the source of many elected officials. Enjoyment in battling the primitively sapient elements... perhaps I'm subconsciously preparing to run for office...