Thursday, August 26, 2010


SPEAKING SIMPLEMINDEDLY


To couch this monocellular response in simple-minded American terms:

"I like Americans, but they are somewhat monocellular," said the former Democratic Party leader who has been a talking head for most of his life in a nation that, in terms of multiplicity, is profoundly convinced of its homogeneity, and pretty much limited to vanilla ice cream, to be simplistic. Chocolate, forget about it; cherry pie is on another planet with almond fudge, to say nothing of rice crackers everywhere for about 400 years so far; now that I call monocellular.

"When I talk with Americans," he goes on, deepening his diplomatic grave, "I often wonder why they are so simple-minded." In response to his expanding and imperceptive head, I'd say that one halfway decent Mexican restaurant for 15 million people, that's simple-minded. Show me a good Greek restaurant, don't make me laugh, or a decent loaf of bread-- no -- a bagel, a genuine bagel within a 500 miles of here. Though I could say the same in New York these days...

Or look over there, at Japanese tv, where loud is funny and garish is new for 40 years now, a budding Edo period. "When I talk with Americans, I often wonder why they are so simple-minded." It must be the extreme variety in America of just about everything one can think of, from music to food, as all the world knows by now except maybe a Japanese political talking head - that was elected overandoverandover again! Chronic lack of cherry pie and R&B will do that to a partial person.

"I don't think Americans are very smart," the head continues, cementing his country's relations with its simpleminded nuclear umbrella, "but I give extremely high credit for democracy and choices by its people. They chose a black president for the first time in U.S. history," which he once thought would be impossible.

In Japan, things really can be impossible, simple-mindedly speaking.

4 comments:

Kalei's Best Friend said...

Americans simpleminded? How about close minded? The ones who can't embrace people of different ethnicity, religious beliefs, culture. The passenger who sliced the neck of a NY cabbie (recently) because he looked Muslim...oops- a person of the Muslim religion...
Your quote goes on to mention 'choices by its people'... some Americans just don't have the common sense when making choices- ignorance, gullibility in signing over their life on sub prime loans that were so ludicrous...too bad they didn't read the fine print or their greed took over...
Sorry, for the rant here, lately Americans have disappointed me..

Tabor said...

Americans are complicated...very complicated. About the only thing we all have in common is our belief that we have the right to pursue happiness...knowing we will never really reach it.

Anonymous said...

Being one of those "simple-minded" Americans (as well as a conservative thinker) I will, for the sake of politeness, refrain from expressing what would be a rather complicated opinion.

vegetablej said...

Oh, I love it... "a partial person".

If he thinks they're simple-minded, he's messing with the wrong "simple" mind here.

Bravo!

And that goes for Canadians too, eh.

:)