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Chestnut Ballistics

I have not complained as all night and all day the falling chestnuts thump the roof and the deck (conveniently positioned for just such effect) and me when I enter the garden ("Those chestnuts, those maddening chestnuts: will they never CEASE??"), but now they are thumping like nutty artillery at the intensifying approach of that big angry red splotch right near Japan on the Pacific weather map: megatyphoon (!) Higos, a big blow for which I must now batten down the hatches. It promises to be an exciting, if chestnut-filled, night...