NORTH KOREANS PRETEND TO BE DISGUSTABLE:
Kidnappers 'disgusted' at victims' behavior

You can imagine how irritating it must be, after you've openly admitted to kidnapping Japan's citizens in the dead of night for decades so you could train spies to do Japan further harm, when just as you're busy trying to extort the international community with threats of nuclear holocaust, that same nitpicky Japan, who for some reason won't take your word for anything, keeps pestering you about where the hell the rest of its kidnapped citizens are, while you're busy trying your damndest to appear sane and scam the best possible deal for not making WMDs you're gonna make anyway... it's... it's gotta be way worse than a stone in the shoes of the People of the Democratic Republic, if only they had shoes.

"It is ridiculous and disgusting that Japan, which is not even qualified to attend the talks, keeps saying that the abduction issue is a basic agenda [when our own ravenous desires are always the basic agenda]," said the North's official Korean Central News Agency with cellophane credibility.

"The international community will never tolerate Japanese politicians' behavior if the nuclear talks become complicated [how simple they've been thus far!] and fail to produce substantial fruit [big change!] due to Japan's wrong maneuver," they babbled on between the bars of their self-constructed cage, as righteously as anyone who believes he's Napoleon.

No one in the civilized world has ever thought that the leadership of North Korea is playing with a full deck, but this puts the cherry atop the dungheap.