SHINZO ABE'S MUG

This is a good indicator of the LDP's dinosaurial perspective on reality. Graft? Birth-giving devices? Plunging popularity ratings? Let's erase all that by selling coffee mugs bearing the Prime Minister's image! That should undo the disaster!

And not just mugs; you can get Shinzo Abe phone straps, Shinzo Abe bookmarks, Shinzo Abe ballpoints, note pads and other politiko-kool stuff now on sale at the LDP party headquarters' souvenir shop.

Before too long we'll see Shinzo Abe truckers' caps, tees, sweats and hoodies, as the PM's ratings plunge to a new lows following ministerial money scandals and political gaffes amid the general populace disaffection miasma that comes with the removal of wool from public eyes.

"We hope the goods can help his support ratings to recover," said LDP spokesman Yoshiaki Ishige, without even a hint of a snicker.

Maybe the Prime Minister should do a rap album.