THE INALIENABLE RIGHT TO FLUFFY

Of course the pet-threat was big on Thomas Jeffersons' mind; he knew first hand the pain of pet confiscation by tyrannical governments, when the heartless redcoats snatched his favorite frog, Croaky.

The right to own and raise pets was clearly as crucial to the author of the Declaration of Independence as it had become to George Washington, father of the entire country and all its pets, when he was still a kid and the British confiscated his kitten Fluffy.

Then of course there was Benjamin Franklin's purloined darling chihuahua Poquito, Tom Paine's nameless tarantula, taken away in the dead of night without a warrant, James Madison's commandeered turtle collection, John Adams' requisitioned hamsters – indeed, the true and impassioned history of tyrannized founding pets has yet to be fully fathomed.

The personal grief of pet appropriation by governmental tyranny was a big reason why America's founding fathers, as soon as they got together to discuss pet protection, saw right off that they needed a constitution, and that its fundamental provisions should start with the right to own and raise any pets they wanted to. And then maybe freedom of whatever and the right to do other stuff. Understandably, in their eagerness to ensure the inalienability of pet ownership, they forgot about the right to a decent education.