WHO'S YER DADDY, PROFESSOR?

I don't know about you, but I've always trusted the big oil companies. I always knew that, like any massive, faceless juridical body, from Halliburton and Philip Morris all the way to Dupont, Enron and beyond, every corporation had my best interests at heart at all times, that public concerns were always at the very top of their agenda, well above concern for profits; I knew in my heart that, despite frequent and disastrous mistakes, unfortunate oversights, devastating errors, regrettable miscalculations, unfortunate outcomes, what have you, that such things were only due to loveable human fallibility, that capitalism was every bit as trustworthy as socialism was untrustworthy, it's all down there in black and white, so this story must be a lie. They couldn't be so stupid as to put it in writing!

"Scientists offered cash to dispute climate study

Scientists and economists have been offered $10,000 each by a lobby group funded by one of the world's largest oil companies to undermine a major climate change report due to be published today.

Letters sent by the American Enterprise Institute (AEI), an ExxonMobil-funded thinktank with close links to the Bush administration, offered the payments for articles that emphasise the shortcomings of a report from the UN's Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC).

Travel expenses and additional payments were also offered."

Maybe all that integrity got locked in the safe or something...