SURPRISE, SURPRISE! YOU'RE 35,000 YEARS OLDER THAN YOU THOUGHT!!

Speak for yourselves, scientists.

Well, those busy scientists over in Ethiopia just found out that we're all 35,000 years older than we thought we were yesterday. Surprise, surprise. Actually I’ve thought all along that they were underestimating our age quite a bit, the way some folks do their own age, I know I’ve been feeling pretty close to 35,000 years older since Kaya and the twins came to visit last month, but who am I to quibble with the precision of science, where dates get moved around on a regular basis?

About 40 years ago - a mere tick of the big clock - they found a couple of skull fragments over there, and doubted that they were over 100,000 years old (no grandkids hanging off their scientific elbows, expanding their time horizons). They had to do some argon/argon radiometric dating (a procedure based on results having nothing to do with enclosing twin grandchildren and a male grandparent together and measuring half-lives).

This new 'birthday' is for modern man, of course; actually we go all the way back, In an unbroken line, to the very first inkling of a cell, so this is small potatoes, really, just one of those local things scientists like to bounce on their trampolines about.

Now if only they could get half-life in a bottle...