Tuesday, January 17, 2006
SURPRISE! SURPRISE!
You could have knocked me over with a bathtub full of artificially flavored ice cream slathered with trans-saturated synthowhip topped with ten pounds of Monsanto Red Lake 45 GM maraschino cherries all lavishly sprinkled with dayglo sprinkles by DuPont followed by a pallet of frozen chemolemon neomeringue pies washed down with a dumpster full of artificially flavored and colored orange soda when I read that some British researchers (offspring of centuries of kidney pie, bangers and mash, spotted dick) had through assiduous research concluded that “Changes in diet over the past 50 years appear to be an important factor behind a significant rise in mental ill health in the UK,” to say nothing of elsewhere, where things may very well be worse... The thing is, can we trust the mental judgement of these people?
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Really? No way. So I shouldn't listen to the little voices in my head that keep telling me not to worry -- the more preservatives I eat the more preserved I'll be, and that's a good thing, keeping myself preserved and all.
Seriously though, I want one of those research jobs. I figure I can sit around for 364 days doing nothing, and because the evidience is so obvious already, on the 365th day simply announce "It's bad for you." Job done.
Then back to lunch.
Horrors! But, elsewhere...where things may very well be worse? You don't think...They can't mean...Do you suppose....The good 'ol US of A....OH, NOW...I'm depressed.
Interestingly, the Feburary issue of "Consumer Reports" magazine has a whole article on "When it pays to buy organic."
Organic is WAY cheaper than the long-term alternative! I'd rather pay a farmer than a doctor.
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