THE NETTY BEAST

So as per the ongoing Cube Noir affair, I went to big farm store and headed for the section where they had all the various kinds of nets farmers use around here to keep away every animal that wants their onions or whatever, and of course was looking in my case specifically for monkey nets. There were lots of dog nets, bird nets, deer nets, pig nets, politician nets, financier nets, you name it, but only one kind showed cartoon monkeys cartoon-freaking-out at the mere touch of the cartoonily miraculous product and I said that's for me. The label said 20 x 4 meters, so I got two of them.

Interesting thing about nets, especially large, fine nets, like I found out mine was when I unpacked it: they love buttons, hatbrims, fingers, collars, heels, toes, tools, whatever you have on, and they can be unexpectedly frisky, plus they're fast - especially if there's a wind - and threaten to capture you right there in your own garden. Another interesting net characteristic is their shapeshifting capabilities. For example, a 20 x 4 meter net can easily acquire a length of 40 or even 50 meters!

Which I was most pleased to discover, as I stretched my new net so conveniently and easily (apart from the playful button grabbing) around my 8 x 7-meter perimeter, moving the ladder a meter or two at a time (nets also love ladders to no end) until at last I stepped down and sought to fasten the bottom of my net to the ground, when I realized that it was now about 50 x 1. So I put myself in reverse and undid the whoooooole thing (with button and ladderplay), then sat at a safe distance from the seething netty beast and pondered the actuality of the situation.

I realized as darkness fell that there are certain instances, such as when putting up a large garden net for the first time in your life, in which forethought is a vain undertaking.

2b cont'd...