Friday, November 11, 2005


PREPOSTEROUS SLANDER ON THE LAND OF THE RISING YOU-KNOW-WHAT


You sure couldn't prove it by me or anyone I know here in Japan, the land of eros unsurpassed in the realms of subtlety, but according to the annual nosy survey that condom maker Durex conducts every year (pardon us for interrupting at just this moment, but…), the Japanese have the least active sex life in the world, for two years in a row. Preposterous.

This in contrast to the Greeks, who according to the survey seem to have time for little else at pole position number 1, several lengths ahead of the staidly randy British, who nevertheless slightly outstroked the understandably fading Americans, who even so tower at more than double the DIP (Demographic Intercourse Proportion) of the Japanese.

That would perhaps explain the declining birth rate in Japan, but not the surge in profits from the tumescent growth of love hotels, which are often hidden away in discreet locations in keeping with the Japanese desire for privacy regarding the wanton expression of untameable passion when, for example, sequestered behind the folding screens atop the rocking motorcycle in the velvet room of the Candy Box hotel down that long road on the mountain…

I think it’s more likely, given the Japanese penchant for privacy, that the Durex folks, not being from around here, just didn’t know where to look.

Lowest DIP in the world? No way.

4 comments:

nils said...

There is a love hotel next to my station, and it has a website. Click "Information" for pictures.

Anonymous said...

Dude,
-If you live in Japan you must know that after the babies come married couples have infrequent sex, at best. ('sexless marriage' being a popular catch phrase in Japan). Check Japanese stats or ask an 'average' couple. I'll bet the average J-wife with kids would say "47 times a year! I wish!"

-Love hotels are too expensive for many, but two or three times a month might be possible.
(wait, 3 x 12 months=36 times! Close to the survey's 47. Bingo!)

-Japan was included in the survey in 2001 with identical results.

-Japanese respondents also reported lower orgasm rates..hmm, could there be a connection? C'mon J-guys, take more time!

Robert Brady said...

"Love hotels are big business in Japan. The economy would probably collapse without them, says love hotel industry 'consultant' Vitamin Miura.

Miura, who runs the Miura Love Hotel Total Research Office, reports that there are 37,000 love hotels in Japan and that nearly 500 million couples visit them each year. That works out to 1,370,000 couples using a love hotel per day, which is more than double the annual number of combined visitors to Tokyo Disneyland and Tokyo Disney Sea.

Miura estimates the average expenditure of a couple per use is about 8,000 yen, which adds up to a whopping 4 trillion yen in sales a year, almost 1 trillion yen more than the annual takings of the Japan Racing Association (JRA)"

Full article: http://tinyurl.com/byb2w

And that's not even counting all the bedrooms in the country...

Anonymous said...

-There are about 85 million people in Japan of 'Productive-age'.
-Would it be correct to say there are then at least 30 million 'couples'? (at least for 1 night!)
-So if they went to a love hotel once or twice a month..Bingo!
500 million visits a year.

There's no shame in admitting that the Japanese lifestyle is to hectic, living spaces are too small and crowded with kids in the bed and in-laws nearby and alternatives too expensive for much quality intimacy to happen.

(By the way, love hotels are kind of cool, but you always have to 'hurry up' 'cause you're worried about the price! "...Sorry baby")

The reason why this is important is that the population of Japan is shrinking at an alarming rate.
Couples don't want to have any (or many) children for the same reasons: crowded living spaces, it's stessful due to a lack of support from companies and the Gov. and it's too darn expensive!