THE BEANS OF INFINITY

What do you get the little granddaughter who wants everything?

This question of the ages, times three in my case, arose when Echo informed me that she was planning a trip north to spend a few days with Kasumi and the three grandies, where she now is, while I revel in the joys of big city officedom.

I had a couple of days to think about the question, and decided that for each of the three girls I'd get a present that Echo could give them, gifts that would have to: cost less than I wanted to spend, be light enough for Echo to carry, require no batteries, withstand the brutal impact of three converging childhoods, have unique appeal, be something off the wall, be something they would like, be something that wouldn't initiate intertrio warfare (Yours is Better!)-- the list appears to be infinite, I'd better stop here.

Grandparents are always on the lookout for goodies that the grandies might enjoy, and I had recently heard of the Mugen Puchipuchi (mugen: infinite; puchipuchi: an onomatopoetic term used to indicate a small popping sound), a small handheld device that relieves stress by endlessly reproducing the nanopleasant effect of popping the bubbles on bubble wrap. I bought one of these, but Echo commandeered it.

Unfortunately it needs batteries, but it led me to another infinite product, a descendant of the Mugen Puchipuchi: the Mugen Edamame. I had never fully recognized the nanopleasure it was to squeeze out those shiny little green beans from their pod... Wow. Are these products ever indefinably Japanese...

So first chance I got I went to the nearest mugen-potential emporium and looked in every nook and cranny, but found only ONE Mugen Edamame; they were sold out. This would not do-- with only one pod - even though infinite - there would be skirmishes, battles, war. So I gave up on that for the moment, but discovered that the mugen company had recently introduced another infinite nanopleasure product, the Mugen Periperi (onomatopoetic term for a gentle tearing sound), which endlessly reproduces the nanopleasure of ripping that little cardboard strip off the top of a snack box. One somehow feels the urge to advise the ripper to "Get a life," but one is busy squeezing beans.

I decided to buy some pin-on buttons as a backup, since infinite soybeans seemed to be sold out everywhere, but what kind of buttons do you get for little girls, nothing treacly I decided; rather, something farly out that will inspire their inquisitive natures, no not the beautiful green marijuana leaf on a black background... I got that one to put on my beret, next to the Thoreau button. Nor that Che Guevara button... I got that one to put next to Mr. Natural on the other side of Thoreau. How about a Rolling Stone tongue button?Right next to the marijuana leaf would be good... this peace button too... do I have room for that? I didn't seem to be getting anywhere on my grandgirl gifts, so I picked out three pink vibrant flashy heart buttons.

The next day, in a last-ditch effort at infinity, after work I went to what must be one of the world emporiums for mugen itemage: Loft in Osaka. There on one of the upper floors I found the real thing, the original Mugen edamame, but they were selling fast. I grabbed a handful and fought my way to the counter, paid and they were mine. In each of the three presentbags for the girls, I finally put in one Mugen edamame and a heart button, an RS tongue button or a peace button, the recipient to be determined randomly by the order in which Echo took them out of her bag.

I can now rest, for stress relief is mine. They also sell an infinite beer can.